Disorder in the Court
The endless delays in court have torn my family further apart

By Anonymous

Every time I hear Timbaland singing "It's been a long time," I'm reminded of the Queens Family Court, where my case is going on and on and on, like the Duracel bunny.

The reason I have a case is because my stepfather sexually abused me. The case will determine whether he'll be found guilty or not. If he's not found guilty, I might go back home. If he's found guilty, I'll stay in foster care. So my future depends on that verdict, and my caseworkers can't plan for me until they figure that out: They can't plan where I should live long term, or how many family visits I get.

This has been my situation for a long time, because the case has been going on for a year and a half and has been adjourned (postponed) four times. Still nothing has been decided.

Rescheduled...the First Time

For a while I've had mixed feelings about the case. At first I wanted my stepfather to be found guilty, because I wanted the truth about what happened to be made clear. I was tired of everyone (like my mother) saying that I was lying. But I also want to go home so I can be with my brothers and sisters. I hoped from the beginning that my mother and I could work out our problems and we could all be a family again.

Right now I live in a group home. I'm supposed to get family visits, but my mother doesn't let me see my siblings. She's mad at me for planning to testify. Not knowing what will happen after the trial has kept my life on hold and has hurt my relationship with my family.

So recently, I decided to drop the charges against my stepfather. I've decided I don't care anymore whether the court finds him guilty or not. All the court has done is prolong our case again and again, make me miss school for no reason, and hurt me and my family even more.

The first time my case was adjourned, it was because I wasn't there. My social worker didn't think I would have to testify that day, so when I told her how important it was for me not to miss school unless I absolutely had to, she said that it was OK. I could go to school on the day of the case. She didn't think that they were going to need me.

I was glad because I was doing well in school, and I didn't want to mess that up. But it turned out that my social worker was wrong. I did need to be in court that day. I was the main witness and I needed to be there just in case the judge wanted to hear my testimony.

They Picked a Bum Date

I thought that the case would be rescheduled for the next week, or surely by the next month. I was wrong. My social worker told me that the next appointment was in January. January was three months away! I was shocked. I was learning about the system more and more each day. I was discovering that the court takes a long, long time to reach any kind of decision.

In the meantime, my family and I couldn't really start moving on from the hurt we'd gone through. We couldn't even be in therapy together, because I had an order of protection against my stepfather and mother that was going to continue until the court came to some conclusions.

The next court date was scheduled on a day when I had five finals. I was so upset that they picked that day, a very important school day for me. There was no way I could make up those finals, so I had no choice but to go to school.

I asked my social worker how they chose the court date. She said that everyone suggested a date that would fit in their schedules, then agreed to it. I thought, "Yeah, everyone picked a date, but what about me?" That really upset me. It showed how much they really considered the needs of the kids they're supposed to be helping.

Finally, two months after that and five months after my first court date, I went to court ready to testify against my stepfather. I was very nervous. I didn't want to see my stepfather or even be in the same room with him. Every time I looked at him it reminded me of the nights he came to my room and tried to touch me.

However, having my social worker by my side made me feel a lot more secure. Sitting in the waiting area, I talked to her on and on about normal stuff, like school and my group home. That helped me feel comfortable and ready for the big moment when I would testify.

When our case was called, I marched to the courtroom with my social worker at my side, preparing to speak the truth. I felt extremely nervous and frightened, but not in a completely bad way. I felt like I was about to die, but for a cause.

And then, I didn't get to testify.

Rescheduled Again

This time it was because the judge wasn't there. She was adopting a child. I was really upset. Not only did I not testify when I was ready to, but I also missed a day of school. (As you can see, I'm a schoolaholic.)

It was four long months before we were all back in court. Finally, everyone was there, but the case was adjourned anyway! One of the lawyers said that he didn't get any of my case records, so he didn't know my case.

I was really confused about that lawyer because I'd heard he'd been in court the other times when the case was adjourned. I couldn't understand how he could not have my case records or know my case.

Still Waiting

My lawyer told me that the attorney did that on purpose so that it would take longer until I testify. The longer it takes, she said, the greater the chance that I would forget details about the abuse. I thought that was very foolish, because I wrote all the details on a piece of paper, and every time I remembered something new about the abuse I wrote it down, too.

Waiting for my next court date, I felt discouraged with the court system. By calling me to court only to cancel my hearing and prolong my fear and nervousness about what might happen next, they'd made my life harder, not easier.

During all that time, my relationship with my mom went way down. She got so mad at me for planning to testify, that even though I am supposed to have sibling visits she stopped them from happening. Now I've only seen my brothers and sisters once in the last eight months. I really miss them and I know that they miss me too.

That's why the last time I went to court, I told my lawyer that I'm dropping the charges against my stepfather. He, of course, talked it out with me. He wanted to make sure that I was making the right decision. It upset me that I wouldn't make the truth heard in the courtroom, but I decided it is more important to me to save whatever family relations I have left, if I can.

My Life Stays on Hold

Since then I've been working on my relationship with my mom. It's going rather badly because we really need therapy together to talk things out.

Also, the last time I went to court they told me that the case will still go on because of a statement that my brother made about the abuse. So I still have to struggle with the system.

My next court date is not for several months. That totally sucks, because I couldn't spend any holidays with my family. Spending Christmas with my family is something I really miss.

When I first started dealing with the court, I thought I had it all figured out. First I thought I would testify against my stepfather and then, once his guilt was acknowledged, my family could start trying to move past what had happened. After that I thought that if I said that I didn't want to testify I would just go back home and everything would be fine. But after being disappointed for so long, I no longer care what the court decides. I just want to move on with my life.

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