You’re Fired!
Losing eight jobs has taught me a lot.

By Christine McKenna

As a teen, I never had the luxury of an after-school job. I know that some kids in foster care are allowed to have part-time jobs, but the group home I lived in was very iffy about letting the girls work. It was one of those double-edged sword situations: if you were acting up and an emotional wreck, of course they wouldn’t let you work. But if you were a good little resident and followed all the rules, they didn’t want to jeopardize that by letting you work. Catch-22.

That’s why I didn’t work at all until I was 18 and had aged out of foster care in Los Angeles. I had no idea how difficult it would be to find a job, let alone keep it. Let’s see, I’m 23 now, and I’ve had about eight different jobs, but from each one I’ve learned something valuable. Here are four of the main lessons I learned.

Lesson of Job #1: Take It Easy, Chica!

My first job was as a secretary at a law firm in Brentwood, California. I answered phones, typed, faxed, emailed clients and did just about anything else asked of me. I worked full time, Monday through Friday. I was also going to college full-time at Santa Monica College. I then decided, because I wanted the extra cash, to get a part-time job for the weekends. I ended up working at a clothing department store as the person who hung up the clothes you shoppers (you know who you are) leave strewn all over the dressing room. So basically, I was working 60 hours a week, plus attending school full-time in the evening.

Well, as you can imagine, I was working way too much. And it didn’t take long for me to literally pass out from sheer exhaustion at school one night. I had to be hospitalized from the stress, and I ended up losing both jobs.

The lesson learned here is: Take it easy, chica! Running at full sprint all the time will kill you.

In a weird way, I was relieved to lose those jobs. I was burning myself out, but I didn’t know how to stop myself. I didn’t know my own limitations at the time, or how to really protect myself from working too hard. I needed to learn to pace myself.

Lesson of Job #2: Even if Your Boss Is Super Cute and Cool, He (or She) Is Your Boss in the Office, Not Your Friend

Soon after this I found employment at a nonprofit group that taught the arts to kids.

I was an administrative assistant, which I learned was just a fancy term for gofer. I basically did the same things I did at the law firm, along with numerous errands. I loved this job intensely, mostly because it was run by two of the cutest guys ever, Tim and Jason. I thought I’d become really good friends with Tim and Jason, although thinking back on it, how good of a friend can an 18-year-old be to two guys in their 30’s?

Whatever the case, I felt close to them and I saw myself as the “fun” of the office. I liked to have everyone laughing. Sometimes to make people laugh, I’d say really inappropriate things, like sexual things. You get the picture. But it turns out, those kind of comments aren’t OK in a work environment, not even if you are good friends with the bosses. They are especially not OK when you’re working with kids.

I knew these things, but I didn’t pay attention to what I knew. I think it was because I got too chummy with my employers, and that confused me. Being that close to your co-workers creates really fuzzy boundaries, and I forgot what’s appropriate office behavior and what is not. It was hard for me to tell the difference between Tim and Jason my bosses, and Tim and Jason my friends. Because Tim and Jason were my friends, I forgot that maybe it’s not appropriate to be talking in the office about the guy I was debating whether or not to sleep with.

So after working there for a little over a year, I lost that job too. That hurt. I still really miss that job. If Tim and Jason were to call me today and give me another chance working for them, I would be there in an instant.

Lesson of Job #3: Get Along With Your Boss, Even if You Can’t Stand the Jerk

My next job was at Staples, where I made copies for people who were too lazy to do it themselves. I worked mornings at Staples and went to school in the evenings. I literally dreamed of paper jams and colored paper for weeks!

A lot of customers came in again and again and it was nice getting to know them. I liked talking to the customers.

But I didn’t like my boss, and I didn’t like it that many people were very impatient and couldn’t seem to understand that the sentence, “There’s nothing I can do, the machine is broken,” means exactly that. Other than that, it was a decent job.

But this story wouldn’t be good without me saying that, yes, I also lost this job. This time it was because I accidentally signed the wrong name for a FedEx package. Could happen to anyone. I don’t think my manager thought so, though. Since we never really got along, I feel like he had been looking for an excuse to fire me. The FedEx package was his excuse, and I was jobless again.

The lesson I learned from this job is to make an effort to get along with your boss, even if you can’t stand him or her.

Lesson of Job #4: Know Your Limits and Set Boundaries to Protect Them

The next job (God I’m getting tired of saying that) was as a receptionist at a company that sold knives. This was actually a pretty cool gig, until once again (I don’t seem to learn my lessons well!) I immersed myself so entirely in the job that I no longer had a life outside of work. I was pulling something like 80 hours a week, and only getting paid for 40. Why? By this time I think I was so desperate not to lose another job that I went to great lengths to be the best damn employee there ever was.

I would come in at 6 in the morning to get a jumpstart on returning calls and to straighten up the interview room. Sometimes I wouldn’t leave until 11 at night, cleaning up the office, vacuuming and such, and listening to my boss’ personal problems.

Not only was I afraid of getting fired, but I was avoiding being at home. By this time, I was living in an apartment with people I hated. The way I saw it, the less time spent there the better, so I spent all my time at work.

Feeling Needed and Useful

But the job was draining me. And so was my boss, who sometimes asked me to lie to clients. I hate to lie. And soon my boss was telling me all his problems—personal and otherwise. I listened compassionately and offered what little advice I could. To be honest, I liked being the go-togirl for him. It made me feel needed and useful, so once again I did not set clear boundaries with my boss.

What I did not like was the sleepless nights that I had as a result. I worried not only about my own problems (which were plenty), but about my boss’ as well. My non-existent boundaries at the time prevented me from setting limits with myself about what I would and would not allow. Even when my work started to suffer because of the stress I was under, and even when I felt so completely drained to the point that I would cry in the bathroom for hours at night, I couldn’t tell my boss that I needed a break.

I thought that he wouldn’t like me anymore if I wasn’t there whenever he needed me. He knew that if he called at two in the morning and said he needed me to be in the office by five the next day I would be there. (And, yes, he actually did this! More than once.) I didn’t want to disappoint him.

But once again, not setting boundaries and working too much lost me my job.

Hospitalized for Exhaustion

To make a long story short, I had a breakdown, and needed to be hospitalized.

You would think after everything I did for my boss, he would understand that I needed to rest for a week or so, and then let me come back to work. But they fired me because my boss said I couldn’t handle the job’s pressure. And, like I said, the emotional stress had make my work suffer. I had overdone it again.

Where Is the Middle Ground?

It’s been almost two years since I’ve worked anywhere for a paycheck, and as much as I want—I need—a job, I’m terrified that I’ll only fail again.

I suppose I still have to learn what my limitations as an employee are, and how to politely stand up for myself if those boundaries are crossed. It sounds so easy, doesn’t it? If only it were.

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